It is May 31st. Mom's hair began to fall out on Tuesday. She found more than usual in the shower that morning and when she dried her hair, more starting falling. :( She put it all in a pile on her bookshelf and cried. and cried. and cried. It sucks. I told her to call our hair dresser and have him cut it really short. I thought that it might not seem so awul, if it was shorter, you know? Hell, I know I would be depressed.
So she went to Victor and got a new do. I stopped after work last night to check it out and to give her a huge Maureen hug. It looks good, but of course she hates it. Unfortunately it is time for the turbans and hats and the wig. She hates the wig. God bless her, she hates it. I probably would, too. :( I am really worried about her emotional status at this moment. She is so fragile. I revert back to my previous thought that I wish I could just hug her and make it all go away.
This entry is going to be short, however, because I have to eat dinner, get a shower and I am taking Mom & Dad out for the night. We are going to listen to a county band tonight. She needs a night out to laugh and smile and forget about the "C" word. I hope she enjoys herself.
I thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. Deb and Stritz, I will call you guys soon. I promise. It means so much to me that you are there for me and my family. Hopefully we can get together one of these days very soon.
Mom goes for her 2nd chemo session this Tuesday. After that Britt will be home in ten days. I am going to call the airport and attempt to arrange for my mom to meet Britt at the gate. This will hopefully be a surprise for Mama. Say your prayers that they allow it. I am hoping that under the unfortunate circumstances, they will break the rules and let Mom meet her at the gate. Britt and Mom are going to need some serious hug time when she arrives. And I mean serious hug time.
Please continue praying.......................
Mo
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
1st Chemo Treatment
May 13th came way too soon, for Mom's liking. I took the day off of work to be with her. I had one of my buddies from Joey's make her a shirt that says "cancer sucks". It is a pink t-shirt with black letters. I thought it might add some humor to those dreaded treatment days. She wore the shirt proudly, I must say. Everyone at the Dr.'s office loved the shirt. Even Dr. Simons, who usually is just business, was laughing.
First the nurse came in and took mom's blood pressure. It was 114/62, which was much better than the 1st time we were there. It was 160/80 on May 3rd; her very first visit with Dr. Simons, which was the day we thought we might receive a diagnosis.
We had read all of the literature given to us by the doctors and were better prepared for this visit on the 13th. At least we knew what we were dealing with at this point. Dr. Simons examined Mom and then we went to the "treatment room", which is nothing more than a bunch of recliners for the patients to sit in. It was a busy day on the 13th. Sandra, a nurse came and reviewed the treatment and side effects with Mom yet another time. She is very comforting. They all are. These nurses are truly amazing people. Anyhow, they began with an anti-nausea medicine. Since Mom preferred not to have a "port" implanted, they were administering the drugs through an IV in her arm. Hopefull her veins will hold up. She really does not want that "port". After the anti-nausea med is finished, the nurse has to retrieve the orders from the doctor as to what chemo drugs Mom should be receiving. A mixologist creates the concoction of drugs, which is double and triple checked before being administered. Mom received Adrymiacin 1st, which was bright red. (She peed red the rest of the day!) Then the Cytoxin was given. Toward the end of the Cytoxin, Mom had a really weird look on her face. Throughout the beginning of the chemo, she was holding up really well. I was so proud of her. She had brought a book to read, but I gave her a PEOPLE Magazine; much more interesting reading. Plus, the other patients that are there strike up a conversation. Of course, Dad ended up knowing someone who was there. Anyhow, getting back to Mom's look of bewilderment. I asked her what was wrong and as soon as the nurses heard me, 2 of them went running over and started to fuss over her. Apparently if the Cytoxin is administered too quickly, it can make your head feel funny, which is exactly what Mom was feeling. She wouldn't say anything, though. I told her that whenever somethings isn't feeling right that she has to tell the nurses. They made a note on her chart to slow down the Cytoxin the next time. AND they reiterated that she must tell them when something feels amiss. The most important thing for the patients is that they are as comfortable as possible. They keep a fridge loaded with juices and pop, as well as pass around a basket full of goodies for the patients to munch on. A bunch of angels on earth they are. Truly.
Mom received her chemo schedule; she had to go back the next day for a shot called Neulasta. It is supposed to help keep your white cell count up, which will reduce infection. Mom will have to have blood taken once a week during the entire time frame of chemo treatment. They have to ensure that all of her counts are o.k. I am still researching this so I will fill you in once I am educated. Her next dose of chemotherapy is scheduled for June 3rd.
We got her home and chilled for most of the day. She actually slept, which was quite unusual for my mother. She NEVER naps during the day. She is emotionally, as well as physically exhausted, though. I had to work that night at Joey's so she was left in the care of Dad. Now that could be a whole other blog!
Next up, finding a wig and head coverings....................
First the nurse came in and took mom's blood pressure. It was 114/62, which was much better than the 1st time we were there. It was 160/80 on May 3rd; her very first visit with Dr. Simons, which was the day we thought we might receive a diagnosis.
We had read all of the literature given to us by the doctors and were better prepared for this visit on the 13th. At least we knew what we were dealing with at this point. Dr. Simons examined Mom and then we went to the "treatment room", which is nothing more than a bunch of recliners for the patients to sit in. It was a busy day on the 13th. Sandra, a nurse came and reviewed the treatment and side effects with Mom yet another time. She is very comforting. They all are. These nurses are truly amazing people. Anyhow, they began with an anti-nausea medicine. Since Mom preferred not to have a "port" implanted, they were administering the drugs through an IV in her arm. Hopefull her veins will hold up. She really does not want that "port". After the anti-nausea med is finished, the nurse has to retrieve the orders from the doctor as to what chemo drugs Mom should be receiving. A mixologist creates the concoction of drugs, which is double and triple checked before being administered. Mom received Adrymiacin 1st, which was bright red. (She peed red the rest of the day!) Then the Cytoxin was given. Toward the end of the Cytoxin, Mom had a really weird look on her face. Throughout the beginning of the chemo, she was holding up really well. I was so proud of her. She had brought a book to read, but I gave her a PEOPLE Magazine; much more interesting reading. Plus, the other patients that are there strike up a conversation. Of course, Dad ended up knowing someone who was there. Anyhow, getting back to Mom's look of bewilderment. I asked her what was wrong and as soon as the nurses heard me, 2 of them went running over and started to fuss over her. Apparently if the Cytoxin is administered too quickly, it can make your head feel funny, which is exactly what Mom was feeling. She wouldn't say anything, though. I told her that whenever somethings isn't feeling right that she has to tell the nurses. They made a note on her chart to slow down the Cytoxin the next time. AND they reiterated that she must tell them when something feels amiss. The most important thing for the patients is that they are as comfortable as possible. They keep a fridge loaded with juices and pop, as well as pass around a basket full of goodies for the patients to munch on. A bunch of angels on earth they are. Truly.
Mom received her chemo schedule; she had to go back the next day for a shot called Neulasta. It is supposed to help keep your white cell count up, which will reduce infection. Mom will have to have blood taken once a week during the entire time frame of chemo treatment. They have to ensure that all of her counts are o.k. I am still researching this so I will fill you in once I am educated. Her next dose of chemotherapy is scheduled for June 3rd.
We got her home and chilled for most of the day. She actually slept, which was quite unusual for my mother. She NEVER naps during the day. She is emotionally, as well as physically exhausted, though. I had to work that night at Joey's so she was left in the care of Dad. Now that could be a whole other blog!
Next up, finding a wig and head coverings....................
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
It is 2:25 P.M. on Tuesday. Mom went for bloodwork today. She got a copy of the paperwork, so I will know her "counts". I am trying to keep a close eye on everything.
Mom, aka Pat Salmen, is the most wonderful mother that anyone could ask for. She is an even better grandmother. She adores, my daughter, her only grandchild, who is in Australia studying abroad right now. Britt will be home on June 13th, thank goodness. What a scene the folks at Pittsburgh International Airport are going to see at 9:55 P.M. that night. Me, Mom, Dad and Joshua will be screaming and crying tears of happiness when we see our Brittany. Mom, especially will be overjoyed. My daughter idolizes her grandparents. Really. She does.
I get off track so easily. 1st visit with the surgeon was May 5th. Mom was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. Immediately, the surgeon said "You will need chemotherapy." "You will lose your hair." You will have to have a mastectomy." You will have all the lymph nodes removed on your left side." "You will need to have radiation."
1st she found out that she has the "C" word. Then they throw all of that shit at you. But the surgeon, Mary Beth Malay, is absolutely wonderful. She is down to earth, very easy to talk to and she hugged Mom more than once. She laughed with us and most importantly she made sure that I had the answer to all of the 31, yes 31 questions I had prepared to her ahead of time. I wanted to make sure I had all of the bases covered. This is my mother and best friend we are talking about. Dr. Malay's staff is wonderful, as well. They felt like family before we left the office that day. Can't remember is I said so before, but Dr. Malay said the breast mass was 2 cm. and the lump under the arm was 5cm. Mama looked so scared. Hell, I was scared.
From there we had an appointment with the oncologist. We saw Dr. Simons and she reviewed the types of chemo Mom would receive. Adriamycin and Cytoxan for the 1st cycle. Tomaxere for the 2nd cycle. Again reiterated that she would lose her hair. A nurse then came in to review the side effects, way too many to list, and again, the fact that she would lose her hair. If one more person told her that she was going to lose her hair, I think I would have slapped them.
It is bad enough to find out the long fight you have ahead of you, but to know you have to fight the fight bald? Come on, now. This was a bit too much for my mama. If you know her well, you know that every hair must be in place at all times. Hell, my dad had to sell his convertible when they were first married because she wouldn't ride in it with him. After all, her hair would get messed up. :)
Back to the chemo nurse; she gave mom some brochures that had wigs, bandanas, head coverings, etc. to browse through. Mom wanted no part of it. Can't blame her.
Anyhow, after the chemotherapy nurse was in, a member of the finance staff came in to discuss the insurance coverage and all of that, which registered as nil, as our brains were mush from all of the other information we had received already.
Finally, it was time to go home, but not before scheduling her 1st chemo treatment. AND before that she had to have bloodwork and her heart tested to ensure it was strong enough for chemo. Bloodwork was scheduled for that Wednesday, along with the heart test and chemo was scheduled for Tuesday May 13th.
I just want to take my mother in my arms and hug it all away. We should be able to do that you, know. Just give someone we love a great big hug and then "poof" everything is wonderful again.
Mom, aka Pat Salmen, is the most wonderful mother that anyone could ask for. She is an even better grandmother. She adores, my daughter, her only grandchild, who is in Australia studying abroad right now. Britt will be home on June 13th, thank goodness. What a scene the folks at Pittsburgh International Airport are going to see at 9:55 P.M. that night. Me, Mom, Dad and Joshua will be screaming and crying tears of happiness when we see our Brittany. Mom, especially will be overjoyed. My daughter idolizes her grandparents. Really. She does.
I get off track so easily. 1st visit with the surgeon was May 5th. Mom was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. Immediately, the surgeon said "You will need chemotherapy." "You will lose your hair." You will have to have a mastectomy." You will have all the lymph nodes removed on your left side." "You will need to have radiation."
1st she found out that she has the "C" word. Then they throw all of that shit at you. But the surgeon, Mary Beth Malay, is absolutely wonderful. She is down to earth, very easy to talk to and she hugged Mom more than once. She laughed with us and most importantly she made sure that I had the answer to all of the 31, yes 31 questions I had prepared to her ahead of time. I wanted to make sure I had all of the bases covered. This is my mother and best friend we are talking about. Dr. Malay's staff is wonderful, as well. They felt like family before we left the office that day. Can't remember is I said so before, but Dr. Malay said the breast mass was 2 cm. and the lump under the arm was 5cm. Mama looked so scared. Hell, I was scared.
From there we had an appointment with the oncologist. We saw Dr. Simons and she reviewed the types of chemo Mom would receive. Adriamycin and Cytoxan for the 1st cycle. Tomaxere for the 2nd cycle. Again reiterated that she would lose her hair. A nurse then came in to review the side effects, way too many to list, and again, the fact that she would lose her hair. If one more person told her that she was going to lose her hair, I think I would have slapped them.
It is bad enough to find out the long fight you have ahead of you, but to know you have to fight the fight bald? Come on, now. This was a bit too much for my mama. If you know her well, you know that every hair must be in place at all times. Hell, my dad had to sell his convertible when they were first married because she wouldn't ride in it with him. After all, her hair would get messed up. :)
Back to the chemo nurse; she gave mom some brochures that had wigs, bandanas, head coverings, etc. to browse through. Mom wanted no part of it. Can't blame her.
Anyhow, after the chemotherapy nurse was in, a member of the finance staff came in to discuss the insurance coverage and all of that, which registered as nil, as our brains were mush from all of the other information we had received already.
Finally, it was time to go home, but not before scheduling her 1st chemo treatment. AND before that she had to have bloodwork and her heart tested to ensure it was strong enough for chemo. Bloodwork was scheduled for that Wednesday, along with the heart test and chemo was scheduled for Tuesday May 13th.
I just want to take my mother in my arms and hug it all away. We should be able to do that you, know. Just give someone we love a great big hug and then "poof" everything is wonderful again.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Where Do I Begin?
Where do I begin? Life certainly can throw you curve balls every now & then, but this tops them all. Mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I am going to try and tell her story. You see, she has no computer skills whatsoever. And I mean NONE. Brittany & I have both tried countless times to teach both her & Dad, but to no avail. So, it will be up to us to tell Mom's story for her.
It all began last July (2006) when she felt a lump in her left breast. She scheduled a mammogram at Jameson Hospital and told them before the test that she had discovered a lump. Nothing to worry about they said. Benign, it was. How they knew that without doing further testing, I have yet to figure out, but hey. It is Jameson.
In April of this year, Mom discovered a lump under her arm. She immediately scheduled an appointment with her PCP and it has been a roller coaster ride since. Dr. Coleman scheduled another mammogram at College Fields and a CAT scan. CAT scan was fine, but the mammogram resulted in "Suspicious" findings. No shit, we thought. Any lump under your arm and in your breast are suspicious. (Sorry, you will view much sarcasm throughout this blog. I am so good at sarcasm. Dr. Coleman said Mom had a 2 cm mass in her left breast and she was very concerned about the lump under the arm, as they were connected. Literally connected, that is.
From there, we went to the Oncologist on April 15, 2008. We already knew that Mom would need a biopsy, but apparently we had to pay $25 to the specialist before that could be officially determined. We won't even go there because we had to wait more than one week to see the oncologist, after hearing that the mammogram was supicious. The oncologist then told us what we already knew; that a biopsy was required. Neither here not there at this point.
Dad & I took Mom for her biopsy. They also had her scheduled for a bone scan the same day; Monday April 21, 2008. 1st up the biopsy. Mom was a nervous wreck. Dr. Schaffer, the head radiologist was going to be doing the biopsy, though, and he is the most gentle man. What a sweetheart. They took 3 samples from under her arm and 2 from her breast. Then she had to have the dye injected for the bone scan. We went home for 2 hours; then took her back for the scan. Good news! The bone scan looked good. No further problems were detected with that test. Thank God.
We hadn't heard anything as of Thursday of that week. I suggested that Mom call the Dr. to find out what the Hell was going on. All of this waiting was making Mom more of a nervous wreck than she normally is. The not knowing is a horrid thing. On Thursday afternoon, Dr. Simon's office (oncologist) contacted Mom to have her pick up all of her films and reports. They had to be hand delivered to Dr. Malay's office in Cranberry. Mom was still clueless at this point, although I will admit that when she called me at work to tell me this, my heart sank. I thought I would instantly throw up. They wouldn't have her hand deliver her info to the surgeon unless it was that ugly "C" word. By this time, NO ONE had called Mom to tell her the test results. NO ONE. Not the radiologist, the PCP or the oncologist. What the HELL is wrong with these people, I thought?
On Friday, Mom & Dad picked up her info, stopped at College Fields to get her results, (wouldn't give them to her.) and I had just about had enough. Mom & Dad were on their way to Cranberry and I called Dr. Coleman's office to speak to someone, anyone who would be brutally honest with me. Anita, who is my most favorite nurse there, called me back. Not good news. Are you sure? I asked. When deep down, I knew it before she even told me. Just then, Mom & Dad stopped in on there way back from Cranberry. Stage 2 cancer. That is all Mom could remember. She was crying, dad was crying and I was attempting to hold my own while they were there. I refused to cry in front of her. Someone has to stay strong...........................
It all began last July (2006) when she felt a lump in her left breast. She scheduled a mammogram at Jameson Hospital and told them before the test that she had discovered a lump. Nothing to worry about they said. Benign, it was. How they knew that without doing further testing, I have yet to figure out, but hey. It is Jameson.
In April of this year, Mom discovered a lump under her arm. She immediately scheduled an appointment with her PCP and it has been a roller coaster ride since. Dr. Coleman scheduled another mammogram at College Fields and a CAT scan. CAT scan was fine, but the mammogram resulted in "Suspicious" findings. No shit, we thought. Any lump under your arm and in your breast are suspicious. (Sorry, you will view much sarcasm throughout this blog. I am so good at sarcasm. Dr. Coleman said Mom had a 2 cm mass in her left breast and she was very concerned about the lump under the arm, as they were connected. Literally connected, that is.
From there, we went to the Oncologist on April 15, 2008. We already knew that Mom would need a biopsy, but apparently we had to pay $25 to the specialist before that could be officially determined. We won't even go there because we had to wait more than one week to see the oncologist, after hearing that the mammogram was supicious. The oncologist then told us what we already knew; that a biopsy was required. Neither here not there at this point.
Dad & I took Mom for her biopsy. They also had her scheduled for a bone scan the same day; Monday April 21, 2008. 1st up the biopsy. Mom was a nervous wreck. Dr. Schaffer, the head radiologist was going to be doing the biopsy, though, and he is the most gentle man. What a sweetheart. They took 3 samples from under her arm and 2 from her breast. Then she had to have the dye injected for the bone scan. We went home for 2 hours; then took her back for the scan. Good news! The bone scan looked good. No further problems were detected with that test. Thank God.
We hadn't heard anything as of Thursday of that week. I suggested that Mom call the Dr. to find out what the Hell was going on. All of this waiting was making Mom more of a nervous wreck than she normally is. The not knowing is a horrid thing. On Thursday afternoon, Dr. Simon's office (oncologist) contacted Mom to have her pick up all of her films and reports. They had to be hand delivered to Dr. Malay's office in Cranberry. Mom was still clueless at this point, although I will admit that when she called me at work to tell me this, my heart sank. I thought I would instantly throw up. They wouldn't have her hand deliver her info to the surgeon unless it was that ugly "C" word. By this time, NO ONE had called Mom to tell her the test results. NO ONE. Not the radiologist, the PCP or the oncologist. What the HELL is wrong with these people, I thought?
On Friday, Mom & Dad picked up her info, stopped at College Fields to get her results, (wouldn't give them to her.) and I had just about had enough. Mom & Dad were on their way to Cranberry and I called Dr. Coleman's office to speak to someone, anyone who would be brutally honest with me. Anita, who is my most favorite nurse there, called me back. Not good news. Are you sure? I asked. When deep down, I knew it before she even told me. Just then, Mom & Dad stopped in on there way back from Cranberry. Stage 2 cancer. That is all Mom could remember. She was crying, dad was crying and I was attempting to hold my own while they were there. I refused to cry in front of her. Someone has to stay strong...........................
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